Now Hear Metallica

We have 2 guest reviewers again this week! A millennial and a boomer are giving us their opinions on Metallica.
Reviewed by a Millennial
OMG, you guys! Have you ever heard of this band called Metallica? They're like, this super old band from the 80s, but their music is SO GOOD! Like, how is it even possible that people that old can still rock out like that? It's crazy!
I mean, I always thought old people were just supposed to listen to like, elevator music or something, but Metallica proves me wrong. Their guitar riffs are just insane, and don't even get me started on the drums. Lars Ulrich is a freakin' machine!
Overall, I'm just blown away by Metallica. Who knew that music from the 80s could be so good? It just goes to show that age is just a number, and as long as you've got the talent, you can rock out at any age.
Reviewed by a Boomer
Listen up! I've been a fan of Metallica since the early days, and let me tell you, their music is just as good now as it was back then. Sure, there's a lot of new music out there these days, but none of it can hold a candle to the pure, unadulterated awesomeness that is Metallica.
I remember when "Kill 'Em All" came out, and we were all blown away by the speed and aggression of the music. And then "Ride the Lightning" came out, and we were like, "Wait, they can get even BETTER?" And then "Master of Puppets" came out, and we were like, "Okay, they're officially the greatest band of all time."
And their lyrics? So deep, man. Like, they're not just singing about sex and drugs and partying all night long (although there's definitely some of that in there too). They're actually talking about real stuff, like mental health and the meaning of life and all that deep stuff.
And you know what? They've still got it. Their newer stuff may not be as groundbreaking as their early albums, but it's still freakin' Metallica, man. They're still writing kickass riffs and belting out lyrics that speak to the soul. And the fact that they've been doing it for over three decades is just a testament to their enduring talent.
So listen, kids. If you want to know what REAL music sounds like, check out Metallica. And if you ever try to tell me that mumble rap or whatever the heck is popular these days is better than Metallica, I will personally come to your house and make you listen to "One" on repeat until you understand the error of your ways.